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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Good Intentions ??

The snow falls quietly on a winter sleepy Bay as my cat is curled up here beside me and the keys, in his deep place of dreams where he visits all to often it seems.
My mind today wonders how a boy who is now a man is living.His name is Bobby.He and his thirty year old mom Gloria were my first clients at an outreach program for kids that never did quit get off the ground.To many chiefs in the fire I think.I spent over 20 years in social work and this is the saddest tale of my experiences, and the most unnecessary in all so many ways,Yet only in hindsight do we learn some things in life; seems to be the most important ones.Also Social work does not seem to want to allow much room for ones intuition.This case is one of the reasons I'm not working in the system today mostly because I get blindsided by the formalities and ritualism around me.Anyway lets get on with the tale.
Bobby was sad when we met and very confused ,he loved his mom very much and did not understand the disease of addiction nor schizophrenia, from which his mother suffered.So we began very slowly,to unwind the horrible fears and misunderstandings of this little man's 12 years old mind.
I reported to a case worker who reported to a case supervisor who reported to their case worker in children's services who reported to the director of children's said services who reported at times to a Judge and the Legal system.Deep.
Bobby and I went to the beach,opened a bank account,visited with friends,took long walks in the parks, and talked about is problems and how to find solutions,slowly he began to learn that he did not case it and could not cure his mom.He was angry that all his stuff had been sold to support her cocaine habit another side of things he did not want to have to understand.I decided he did not have to and so we didn't go there.I got some of his stuff like a stereo and some blankets returned to him, a nice bed and a few other things.He showed up one day with a nice camera, I think he lifted it but I had bigger fish to fry.To me it was just another symptom of the disease he was being handed.We moved over it for the most part I spoke to the thoughts I was having he just smiled.He was a nice cute kid.Grade six and for the first time was missing classes.
Why could not the system slow down for him!!!Was there an alternative for him.He told me he felt outside of everyone there he did not fit in.He was right.Was there someplace he did fit tin that was not behind bars.
He was coming along very well even at times happy and trusting the little boy was not shut off.He said to me one day "you know what Kate I've done more stuff with you in six months then I did with my mom in 13 years.sad yet in some deep way I felt rewarded for my efforts and we drove on to the library.
About eight months in to the case I got a call Bobby and one of this buddies had dared each other and stole some change for a car.Something that as my friend from Dublin put it later on a Grandmother could have made right."Now you take that back and apologize," kind of thing.Oh No!!!this asshole pressed charges and I am left to believe that the case guy I was working with did not do to much to stop him from calling the police into court action.So we go to court and Bobby gets 20 hours of community services!!!!We have a talk and he is pissed off but he calms down after a few days.He is confused about the way it was handled as was I .
My case supervisor was a very up standing member of a local religion,a teacher in Martial arts,and had worked in social services for many years.He did not however know the ways of the poor or remember the shoes he had walked in.I asked my case worker that Bobby be able to remain in his own community to do his community hours.It would look good onto the community around him and just maybe he could meet some better kids in the HOOD and believe me they are there. Oh NO!!! Asshole has a jock friend who he buys all his expensive camping stuff from and want to impress him!!! So Bobby preforms to the hilt in a week he took the job of cleaning up in a space that sells 2000.00 bikes,500.00 tents,35.00 water bottles and guess what?????God knows how much stuff he took,and it looked good on them!!!BUT he got caught and then ended up in detention, where he will learn to hide the pain like his mom.WHY???So unnecessary!!!!!
Thank god today many years  later  I was one of the people who started social workers from poor communities working to make change within those communities.There is a big picture and remember the road to hell is paved with good intentions.Just cause you got money don't make you wise don't make you smart especially about how others live  life.I really don't need your permission to live with what I have nor to do what I want with it.You are not here because you owe anything to the Universe.There is enough on Mother earth for all of us except some are greedy.I have seen all to often the trouble I have to go through to keep it.We all pay it forward.We share our strengths and our hope for a lighter more loving sensitive world.God Bless and may you walk in Beauty all the days of your life.