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Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Inner Man

They say when we grow older we can see the reflection in the mirroring of our parents teachings.My parents had wonderful teachings.I have benefited well from them.Some of the rules were foolish and overprotective but we have left most of them behind.I believe we refine the  myths in our own minds as we grow older,seeking some kindness from our own spirits ever flowing upstream as the past generation flows by continuously. One very strange behavior my mother had was when the selling travellers came to the door she would hide us and not let them into the house,it did not happen often as for the most part we were always living out as much as in in warm weather.I remember being hustled off to the bedroom and momma saying in a low whisper "lets be very very quiet until the person at the door goes away."
The teachings usually are taken on or discarded by the next generation depending on the nature of the world around them.They have not always been to our benefit,health and well being.
I love my parents they were "good folk", yet I remember times when I drifted away from their understandings into my own.I was always developing my own character and beliefs,somewhat sentimental and foolish to people of a greater persuasion and experience.
I grew up in a rural setting,a farm on its way to progressive ideals.I for some strange reason loved people, especially old ones.My grandparents lived with us till their deaths much like West Indians, there were not as many nursing homes and there was honor in taking care of your "OWN" we owned our own people.
My tale here today may seem insignificant to some but to me at the time it was a crossroads for me.I began to leave home in search of my own after this incident.I remember it well.I was 17 years old and it was coming upon Christmas time.My father was coming up into his late 40"s and was working very hard to maintain us a very well maintained lifestyle,rich in many material ways.My mother came from a very wealthy lifestyle.I was pondering as we sat in the livingroom one afternoon on what to buy Nana and Pappa for Christmas.My father said "Im putting money in an envelop for them", and my heart sank.I felt so sad, that they would not get a chosen gift from him." At the time I brushed it aside and yet in my deep inner mind I knew this was wrong for me.WRONG in that it was missing the point of Spirit and Spiritual renewal that Christmas has always stood for for me on so many levels.Healthy famalies grow up and move away, in thought and rituals.I love my dad but I do not do the same as he did nor think the way he did about the values I have nor my cultural rituals.
Is it the generation gap or did he just not GET it????I lost a connection to him that day, a lack of perception in my view of him shifted to a clarity in me.I did not agree then nor do I now, and so now when I see this I think of this time and how much I believe in Spiritual connection from one soul to another.I hope I can always get my friends a gift that says this is how I see you in some way.
Growing and expanding,loving and learning,growing and expanding,loving and learning.Through eternity.
Love ya dad thanks for the mirror.